Kidnap my heart.

Saturday, January 24, 200910:58 PM

Dear Mom,

im sorry for not being a good daughter & theres always a reason why.

yeahh, i know, granny was in a bad state. fever? or other sickness.

i do care. but i cant visit her. why?

1) ive tried to be nice with you and ure family, but terrible mistake done by you,

remember?, you try to kill ureself on 1st day of raya just becos adeq doesnt want

to tag along?, thats where ure siblings starts to hate dad. but in the other hand,

you created it. you make me cry like mad, shouted your name from my room,so that you wont jump down the building, and forgetting ALLAH at that night, while bf and gf having

a great Raya.

2) how am i to face uncle when he stay with granny. & obviously,

i dont want him to ask me lotsa question. afterall, i hate him. and

he hates dad.

3)you cry, and makes me worried. you told me u have a sickness,

but you wouldnt wanna share. tell me, what am i supposed to do?

just wait till ure siblings blame me and says,

"kau anak perompan ha, anak yg tua pon tk tau jaga mak?"

is it all my fault?you talk out your problem, cry but you dont wanna share.

you kick me out from house,saying you dunt wanna me to come back,

but you keep calling my cellphone and make my friend into trouble.

and i brought you a bouquet of flower for mothers day

which i throw to the bin atlast.

you call me pig and slap me hard on my cheek that hurts for few days,

and pretend it wasnt your fault.

you dont appreciates my bday wish for you on your bday.

you promise me this and that,but you break it.

i wasnt supposed to be here struggling to work, just to get cash for my

own expenses and now to help dad with bills. which you dunt even care.

i wanna go to school. like my friends.and im only eighteen. nineteen to

be this year.

you promise me for 4K for diploma. where isit? you blame me for not

being serious. i am serious. and you just forget it? take back all

your words?

it wouldnt be fair for me,

im your daughter, if you still know im your daughter.

how could you possibly give 5K to someone not your family?

wouldnt it be unfair for me?

afterall,

dad has been supporting me.

and encouraging me.

to look at the bright side.

and so do my bf, gf and closest friends.

now, im alone with her,

dad and adeq away.

just look at me.

theres always something would happen.

what can i do, crying.

sobbing everytime i had a hard time with you.

complaining to my closest ones.

but its still hurts mom.

yes, i used to LOVE YOU MORE THAN DAD.

but not now.

im hurt.

hurt by you.

and somtimes,

i look back, i do pity you. infact, dad feel the same way.

you being lonely.

me and adeq wouldnt care about you more than dad.

wouldnt laugh with you.

dint hang out together.

and dont even watch teevee together.

yeahh.

i am a victim.

by a ruined family.

sometimes,

i just want to be like Kak Ani, my cuzzy.

leaving in peoples country,

here and there,

china, canada, australia..

away from family.

and yeahh,

she gotta good career which earns alots.

but yet remember her home.

and she gotta ruined family too.

and sometimes,

i feel that dying is better than leaving,

if only i could predict my future.

yet i have already imagine things on my future.

scary i supposed.

people might say, is not too late for a change.

but, if you were my place,

you dont even care to make the changes,

coz you will knoe how stubborn mom is and patience dad is.

afterall,

ive seen all drama.

dad seek forgiveness and wants her to come back,

she insist.

but why my dad do that?

it isnt he's fault anyway,

because he knows, he got a 2 children

Labels : tell me why.

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