Kidnap my heart.

Thursday, June 26, 200810:59 PM

i was doing nyte laundry.

straight after reached home from sentosa.

& tears started to leaks.

which i look at her bedroom door.

lots of question in my mind.

asking me why.

why must i thankful to have her?

why must she change the 3 of us life for the past 3 years?

why must she be strict with me when im 18?

why she uses vulgarities on me which never before?

why does she slapped me?

why i was kicked out from the house?

why she make funs of me?

why she makes me into trouble?

why she threatening my friends?

why she said im a useless girl?

why forces ure husband to divorce you?

why you have a secret relationship with someone outside?

why make us 3 ashamed?

why hurts us?

why Yahya?not Juhari?

why love sumone's kids but not Zul?

why hurt Zul every morning?

why you shouted at him?

why you scold him ure heads off?

why uses vulgarities on him when he's only 12?

why friends? not family?

why?why?why?

pls tell me why MOM?!

who creates you to be a MOMSTER?!

look at the mess for the pass 3 years.

an look at me,

you make me grow for the past 17 years

but this year,

it changes.

HUGE changes.

i supported myself.

i dint begged you for money no more.

i worked.

which i feel it sucks.

i felt jealous with all my friends.

they enjoyed their teenage life.

skooling and have fun.

but look at me, im 17

struggling to work.

just to get my bill paid.

& for my own support.

& yeahh, dad still helping me though.

you promised ureself.

to make sure ure own kids,

would have a good education.

and you promised me to private skool after ITE.

i did still remember,

we went together,

& i applied.

when it comes to pay,

you ignored.

& blame me for not having effort to studies.

i cried at that day.

thinking of my own future.

"which far can i go with ITE certificate? im not gonna work

for my entire life as a Hospitality Officer? am i?"

people around asking me,

"why dint continue ure skooling?"

all i can say,

"ouh i need a year break and continued next year"

i felt so ashamed.

i guess next year though.

paid myself.

back to her.

you slapped me once i stepped on the frontdoor.

& called me a PIG.

i cried not because you slapped me

for the first time.

but instead,

you called ure own daughter a Pig.

ouhgod.

my heartt pounded at that time.

felt like dragging my feet out of the house.

but i know, i'll make it worst.

and at that time it was 11.00 pm

another happens,

when it was only at 10.45pm.

on mother's day.

i bought you flowers.

as a appreciation gift.

when i was in the lift.

you called.

and to my dissapointment.

you said that dont come back home.

you make me cried again.

as my heart pounded hard.

mind was blank

& dunt know wad to do.

i chase after LOVEE.

luckily he was at bus-stop

almost got himself a cab.

he came towards me and asked me why.

he sent me to dad's work place.

and sent me to auntie house.

and left at 2 plus in the morning.

you called julie, LOVEE & his mother.

threatening them.

which you made people i heartts sacrificed.

i felt BIG ashamed.

when closed friends & relatives,

saw you with another guy ride bikes together.

where am i supposed to hide my face mother?

i wonder how dad sacrificed his life with you.

i pity him. why did you betray him.

and always say that its too late to be togther.

nothing is too late mom.

why cant we be a family again?

i dint see any badness of dad that makes you mad.

he's always patience with you.

you kicked him of room.

which adeq drag the matress to him.and slept with him.

you never hand shake and kisses him when he goes to works.

you raises your voice everytime talking to him.

i pity adek.

for not having a good real mother to love with.

which he's only 12.still a kid.

& now i pity you, mom.

cause, you dunt have a family.

you dont have anione to love.

(maybe you have)

you dont have anione to share ure problems.

which dad and me used to be ure listening ears.

& now it is too late for you to say sorry.

look at 3 of us.

its feel the same with you or without you in the house.

we survive on our own.

now, dad given up on you.

just waited for the time.

i fact the 3 of us are waiting.

and as for adeq,

he cant be bother when you called out his name.

& there's me, which sometimes cant be bother too.

but im soft heartted.and always thinks ure my mother.

but yet, you dint realised.

what have you done for us?

have you cooked for us?

once in a blue moon,yes.

mostly, No..

we dumped our shirt n pants in the washer machine,

and you operated it.

and told me to do the hanging stuff.

once i forgot, why cant you do it instead?

why scold me and forces me to do it no matter what?

isnt it creating a problem?

think again mom.

where's ure responsibilty as a mother?

where's the mother who used to accompanied to aniwhere?

who used to watch teevee together.

who used to cooked for us a good meal and had dinner together,

in one table?

where's that good mother of mine gone to?

who spoilted her?

who changes her?

why ruining our family?

Oh GOD please show her the path.

if one day, 3 of us leaves you.

dont ever find us back.

coz ive made my mind.

is dad divorced you,

im on dad side.

i thought u were to realised your mistakes.

and i had been a good and bad daughter for all these years.

i thank you for everything you did,

the goods and bads.

and if you find a good men,

dunt regret that dad is better.

i know i shouldnt post a family problems here.

couldnt help myself.

and i'll update about sentosa-ing the next day.

Label: i love you mother.but you hurt us. :'(

back to the top

Twitter Updates