mum starts to scream on top of her head to me.
dad bring adeq to Johor.real johor.
which i supposed to tag along.worked!.
conversation with mum at the phone.
although we're in the same roof.
asking her this and that. && why??
its all been answered.
and making me confused.
i couldnt hate my mum.
and i couldnt blame her.
she did admit.
she had another guy, ride the bike with him.
and she paid 2000 dollar to spy my dad,
wherever he goes.
she's upset with me.
coz i couldnt commit my promises.
couldnt be a good sister to adeq.
she GLAD that ive found a nice guy named SALIHIN.
shes happy for me.
&& she perfectly knows that Salihin can obvious understand me.
she's also happy for me.
after all the realtionship i had dat never last.
but what happen to mum and dad,
i and adeq shouldnt be involve.
shouldnt be on one side.
have to accept both and to be loved.
could dad been giving me cash and stuff just to covered up
the mistakes he did which me and adeq doesnt know??
or mum trying to wins our heartts back with the threatening??
im so fucking confused.


which friendship that has been up and down.
yes i knoe.
ako0 lebih pentingkan salihin.
tk seperti lelaki yg dulu ako0 pernah ada perhubungan.
which i alway put you first then THEM second.
its diffy.i knoe.
i never blame youu.'coz u realize my mistakes.
but i do feel left out either,
if you always with ure love one.
but i knew, its love.
i did go out with iin all that.
which i left youu outt.


1stly, family has been my nightmare these days.
kicked out.salihin sent me to my dad and accompanied night long.
wiping my tears.calm me down.sent me to my aunt house.
left at 1am.
2ndly, whenever we go out four of us, there must be one
of partner felt gloomy down.we dint enjoy ourself.
3rdly, maybe you both think i and WAWAN is much more ideal.
4thly, our off days not the same. ive been stricted lately.
&& ive been missing a few days.
and thats when the last time we met at the spore flyer,
which we had bowling,ice cream and popeyes (yumm!)
& took the cab home.
which we laugh and i cried, which almost panicking moment.
yes ,i did cried for him.im just sad and teared begins.
(sudden emotions)..
what has happen, ive never turning back.
keep going on....


after all,
we just texted.sms.
we hardly online together.
once i reached home.
called iin and started snored.
(ive been waking up 4.30,dunno why)


i felt it were so FAKED.
its not the friendship we used to have.
how i wished we could be like last time.
can we?
tears. :'(

Labels : family potrait. missing gf. tears and sobbing. loved bf.